Wednesday, March 12, 2008

You make the call

As a kid I always loved "choose your own adventure" remember, the books where at certain points you were forced to make decisions, which in my case almost always resulted in certain death for the lead character. I hadn't thought much about these books until earlier this evening when I found myself in a situtation that could have ended in a variety of ways.

My journey began around 7pm when I decided to take a stroll around town. As the weather gets warmer this is something that I tend to do quite often, however tonights walk took a most unfortunate turn. As I rounded the corner and walked down South Street I began to feel a slight pain in my lower abdomine. At first I thought that it might just be a cramp, however as I continued on my way it became quite clear that what was happening in stomach was more than just a cramp. As I walked past the Calaloo Cafe the slight pain grew to an almost unbarable level. I stopped at the corner of South and Elm and pretended to peer into the Swiss bakery as I weighed my options. I was at a crossroad, with a difficult decision to make. I could...

A.) Bite my lip, squeeze my cheeks, and pray for the pain to go away
B.) I could bust into the Calaloo Cafe like I own the joint and punish their bathroom...then leave without buying anything
C.) I could stand at the corner, sh*t my pants and write a blog about it

Come on folks, you don't really think I chose option C do you? Well, Im proud, yet a little disappointed that I didn't man up and take option C. Instead I opted for hidden option D. Option D was to walk three long blocks, stopping every ten feet to regroup, and take advatage of the brand new bathrooms inside the Morristown Public Library.

I'm happy to report that the new bathrooms are, or shall I say 'were' beautiful and that they cleary saved me from certain embarrassment. I thought about describing what went on behind closed doors, but you've all been there and don't need the play by play.

Now some of you are probably wondering why I wrote any of this and thats not a bad thought. I told you this story in the hopes that we can all learn something from it. What I learned and what I hope you learned is that walking SUCKS!!! Had I just stayed home, watched Seinfeld, and surfed the web none of that would have ever happend. So next time you feel like getting out and doing something...DON'T!!! Stay inside, play video games, do whatever it is that makes you happy...just so long as there is a bathroom within ten yards of where you are. DIRTY

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